Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Hi-ho, hi-ho

It's close to off we go.

Checking out of the hotel and heading to the boat with multiple shopping trips in the mix - West Marine, grocery...

It was great to have dinner with Broc and Gail and the kids. It was especially fun to take them out to the boat for show-and-tell. Wish we weren't so rushed but a big "Hello!" to the Lovejoys and Traaseths. If we wind up with extra delays, we'll try to talk to y'all tomorrow; but I REALLY hope to start heading South ASAP. Gort is as lovely as described and reported by the surveyor. I'm happy and confident. It's gonna be a great trip.

See y'all in a coupla weeks or a month for the Live and Learn crowd!

Cap'n Franko transforming into his FULL-ON pirate persona

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Hwaet! We Gardena in geardagum…


Oh fuck!0 As of the beginning of August, they're out and free on the briny deep!


Numerous Virgins are still recovering from their ghastly, apocalyptic intercourse with the Merciless Marauders of the Millennium1. It was a terrible thing to witness for those who survived. Authorities believe alcohol may have been involved.

To paraphrase Dylan (That's Bob Dylan, not Dylan Thomas, whoever he was.), they ain't gonna work on Hrothgar's hall no more.

As Alcuin of York wrote when he heard of the viking raid on the monastery of Lindisfarne in 793: “The calamity of your tribulation saddens me greatly every day. When the pagans desecrated the sanctuaries of God, and poured out the blood of saints around the altar, laid waste the house of our hope, trampled on the bodies of saints in the temple of God, like dung in the street, what can we say except lament in our soul with you.”

Or as the Anglo-Saxon chronicle for that year says: "This year came dreadful forewarnings over the land of the Northumbrians, terrifying the people most woefully: these were immense sheets of light rushing through the air, and whirlwinds, and fiery dragons flying across the firmament. These tremendous tokens were soon followed by a great famine: and not long after, on the sixth day before the ides of January in the same year, the harrowing inroads of heathen men made lamentable havoc in the church of God in Holy-island, by rapine and slaughter."

Or as the educated exclaimed in the Church Latin of the day: "A furore Normanorum libera nos, Domine!"

That's right, suckers! We're going viking2.

That's Bob on the bow and I'm the one in the left rear with part of my helmet hidden by the sail. Hopefully, it'll be more like that than like this

It doesn't really matter either way, because...

when this

becomes this

and this

becomes this

Waitaminit! What the hell is this, then?

China Sea variant, I suppose?

in all cases, all you can do is lock up the women and hide the rum. Or is that the other way around?

Maybe hide the animals, too. It's the only way to be sure. Good thing for the manatees that they're a protected species. (Yeah, right! Like that's gonna save 'em from Cap'n Franko and his cohort of the coast, Cap'n Blacktoes, aka Bob the Merciless! His motto is: No K-Y for the manatees!) [I admit I'm at a bit of a loss when it comes to translating that into Latin.]

And wherever those two scurvy rapscallions sail, you can be sure that The Infamous Monkey Bastard is nearby. Woe unto you that are full, for ye shall hunger. Woe unto you that laugh now, for ye shall mourn and weep. Woe unto you that are with child, and to you that give suck in those days!

Pretty much woe to everybody when the IMB is on the scene. Sorry! East coast of Florida and Florida Keys, prepare yourselves. Here they come.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Leftovers, anyone?

We're pretty bad about cleaning out our fridges but I think Bob may win the Worst Fridge Ever award.

In anticipation of going to the bank and doing the closing on the sale of his building this afternoon, he was spending the morning doing some final cleanup on the last-to-be-repaired space, a two-bedroom apartment on the upper floor. One of the final tasks was getting rid of a fridge which has sat unpowered and unopened (THANK YOU, JESUS!) since Katrina. There was a lot of post-Katrina talk and sad laughter about all the rotten and rotting fridges in the months following the storm but I think that waiting THREE YEARS to get rid of a fridge is probably a prize-winner. Maybe not.

It could be the title of an interesting novel:

The Last Katrina Fridge

And in anticipation of our sail starting next week, I'm happy to say, "Goodbye, Dolly!" Furthermore, I don't wanna hafta say "hello" to any new blowhard friends. Please, cross your fingers for us to have an unexciting passage.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Ave atque vale

I dunno just how to categorize or described my present position/feelings. It's dizzying.

I returned from New Orleans last Saturday night in order to wake Sunday morning to load the car, hitch up the tent trailer, and drive/ferry to the radical unschooling campout on Saltspring Island in the Gulf Islands of B.C., Canada. Having just returned home from that outing, I have one week at home to fix all the stuff that broke while I was in New Orleans and visit with my wife and kids because next Sunday I'll be flying back to the Southland to do the boat delivery that was supposed to happen on my previous trip.

Yep. The building deal will (supposedly) close Wednesday, July 23, which will give Bob the money to complete the boat deal soon thereafter. We're planning a boat paperworkfest on Monday or Tuesday, 28th or 29th, followed by boat systems checkout, loading groceries, and slipping the surly bonds of earth, or at least the docklines of the St. Augustine Marina, on July 30th.

Right. St. Aug. I didn't type that by accident unfortunately. During the schedule slip, the boat has moved from Ft. Lauderdale, the original plan, to St. Augustine, adding several hundred miles to our passage, all against the Gulf Stream. Woe betide the weary mariners! Sigh. My life is so fucking hard!

As of tonight, I'm planning to return to Seattle for the weekend of August 16/17 so I can at least say goodbye to the kids as they head off to NBTSC. Then Ronnie and I can have a nice wedding anniversary. (Without the kids! I'm not sure we'll know what to do!) Following that, the kids'll return and we'll pack our bags for Live and Learn - plus Italy and Ireland directly on the heels of L&L - finally returning home in early October.


Of course, all that subsequent stuff assumes I'll have a successful boat delivery. Across the Gulf of Mexico. In August. What are the odds?

As Booker T. said (ignoring English grammar but still making his point succinctly), "If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all!" But maybe my hurricane luck has changed. Maybe.

I sure fucking hope so!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Learn Nothing Day

Pull down the shades cause it's comin'.
Turn out the lights cause it's here.
Comin' hard down the street,
Through the damned humid heat,
On the hottest night of the year.
(With apologies to Randy Newman for ruining his wonderful song Naked Man.)

Sandra Dodd has created a special holiday to give unschoolers a break. "Normal" people are welcome to join in, too. Reserve July 24th NOW!

And there's even a contest.

I dunno just how the hell I can meet the parameters of this holiday. I'm thinking about going to an anarchocapitalist-neocon meeting and listening to them talk ideology. That should be pretty close to the spirit of the day.

What are you gonna do? Or NOT do?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Big Easy news

The Pergo is all down and it looks pretty darned good. I saw Jerry, Cori, and Molly's new home Wednesday; it's very charming and they're a wonderful family. I'm almost recuperated from flooring, which Anita misheard as "fluorine" and expressed her relief that I was recuperating from such a virulent poison.

Dad and I are having another boys' night together. It's very nice to have this time with him.

Bob's final boat deal seems final. Finally. I hope. Guess I'll be heading back down South toward the end of July for the cross-Gulf sail which this trip was supposed to be.

I'll be back to Seattle Saturday night so we can leave for Canada Sunday. The party goes on. Its form may metamorphose but its continuity cannot be denied. In a stochastic universe, you can still count on "big P" the Party constant. That's what comes from being in New Orleans.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Bob Vila done right

Judy's new house has some areas of cheap, poorly laid, stained carpet. She and I went to Home Depot where she picked out some nice new Pergo flooring. Wednesday, Jerry and I will pick up 900 sq.ft. of the stuff then rip up the old carpet and lay some Pergo.

Party time!

Indoor chores are ok since the weather has returned to New Orleans normal - hot and humid - and it'll be nice to see Jerry and hopefully Cori and Molly.

And I'm still waiting to see some text and photos of Chloe's crunch! Hint! Hint!